Lesson 3 Teaching Children to Pray

Children and Prayer

Lesson 3 - Children and Prayer

Teaching Children to Pray

   -- Praying Samuels come from praying Hannah’s.  Samuel was born of a praying mother, whose heart was full of earnest desire for a son” writes E.M. Bounds.  “He came into life under prayer surroundings, and his first months in this world were spent in direct contact with a woman who knew how to pray…It was no wonder he developed into a man of prayer.”[1]

Recommended Reading “When Children Pray”  by Cheri Fuller

Christ said in  Luke 18:16  to “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” (KJV)  Children were very important to Christ, and our prayers for them are important too.  We should be praying not only for their salvation, but that they will develop into people of prayer.

When Children learn that their prayers have an impact, they are less inclined to grow bored with Christianity and are likely to pray more.  Further, as we involve ourselves in teaching our children to pray, we will observe how God uses their childlike faith to bless people and situations near and far.

Think about it, Christ wanted the children to come to Him.  When they did He blessed them, and moved in their hearts and situations.  They realized desires of their heart—desires that focused on what God wants.  When they pray—even in a most simple way, God hears and answers those prayers.  There are many accounts of action of answered prayer when children pray.

When you look at children, you may wonder how they are able to pray.   We must remember God has given children characteristics that give them the ability to pray effectively.  Here are 2 of these characteristics:

• Children come to God with a childlike faith.  They possess an uncanny ability to cut to the core of the issue.[2]  No nonsense, they have simple trust.  They are straightforward & honest with God in prayer.  Contrast this approach with that of adults who often hash over the problem in prayer.  Children are quicker to clear sin. They will ask for forgiveness and can be very transparent. 
• When children are encouraged, they have the ability to hear God speak.  When you look at these characteristics, they have greater skills when it comes to prayer than we give credit to them for.

So why do we not take time to involve ourselves with them and teach them to pray.

Now let’s take a look at what happens as Children learn?

Children learn primarily by imitation. Seeing the parental example packs a lot of power in children’s lives.  Kids are careful observers and often what they see us do—is just what they do. [3]  Dr Howard Hendricks has said:  “You cannot motivate a person apart from intense personal relationship.  You can impress someone at a distance, but you can only impact him up close.”[4]  It is during those “close up” times with our children…that we impart spiritual messages.  (Deut 6:6  “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart”) Let’s give an example.  Children hearing their parents pray aloud for and even praying with them through the years, has left a lasting mark.[5]  It is a fact that more prayer is learned by having accessible, praying parents, than listening to preachy parents.

As children learn, there are several stages of learning[6]:

1. There is the Discovery Stage— where we soak up and discover new information.  This may be frequently seen from Birth to Age 7, but it is also seen in later years too.
2. Discerning Stage—while children soak up new information they will process it and sometimes ask pointed questions.
3. Then comes the Deciding Stage-where they draw a line between curiosity and conviction (Conviction is: something you commit to)
4. The Discipleship Stage—which is really a combination of the three previous stages just discussed.  It is important to realize that while it may take about fifteen minutes to lead a child to Christ, it takes about five years to make him a disciple.  Helping a child become a disciple of Christ takes a lot of being an example and personal involvement with them.

With this in mind—let’s examine what it takes to teach prayer to children.

• Children need to be encouraged to wait on God and hear what He wants them to pray, and to receive guidance from His Holy Spirit.  Remember they learn this by your example.
• Prayer time anchors us in the storms that hit from time to time—when children see you pray during a crisis—it sets a precedence for them to do the same.
• Children need to learn to listen   to parents giving them  ideas.  Our job is to help a child learn to listen to God’s Holy Spirit for themselves.  Here are 2 examples to consider that may help you teach them this concept:
1. Ask  them “what’s the Holy Spirit speaking to your spirit?  What do you sense?
2. Another question, ask the child, is “God prompting you to pray about something or to forgive someone?”  Remember children can be very open and transparent.  God gave those characteristics for a purpose.  Our job is to help children use them to learn to listen.

• Children need to learn that when they see us praying anywhere, that we can pray anywhere—This action can heighten their awareness that we can come into God’s presence anywhere.
• Teach children how God’s people handled moods-the Psalms have excellent examples.  Take time to read the Psalms.  Read each one completely.  There may be an emotional response described in the Psalm.  Near the end of the Psalms, you will see how the Psalmist resolved it.  How the Psalmist did it can be very helpful to us in handling moods and other emotional responses of ours.
• Teach that we can bless others through prayer.

Remember the earlier we teach children to pray, the greater the likelihood that prayer will become a part of their life style.

Let’s look now at growth stages of children which gives us an understanding that can help us in teaching them.

When your child is young and old enough to understand basic concepts, is usually the  toddler stage.  Because of their attention spans are short:

• Tailor prayer time to their ability.
• Teach them about talking to God.   
• Teach them a few simple scriptures that one can easily understand.  Those scriptures can help them pray.

As children continue to grow and develop:

• Continue to teach them that prayer is simply talking with God about what concerns us and also to be thankful to Him.

• When we pray and your children are with you, ask them to participate with us in conversations with God.
• Children observe family and they learn what family love is at an early age and that can be used to help teach them to pray in the context of loving others.  (Prayer is an act of love)[7]
• Children also encounter many challenges and problems.  Teach them that prayer is our number one tool for asking God’s help in dealing with problems.

We have given some suggestions about teaching children to pray.  I would like now to share encouragement of what we can expect to see as results of children praying, especially with parents.

• When children are included in prayer, their desire to talk and listen to God increases and their faith becomes more relevant to their everyday lives. 
• When you let children them join you in prayer, and pray about specific issues of concern to them:  i.e.  friendships, school problems, etc., God will do more than you could even ask or think according to His power that works within you and your child.  Eph 3:20-21 ”Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages.”(KJV)

We have focused on stages and principles of involving children in prayer in an effort to teach them by example and letting them have an opportunity to actually pray.  Let’s now look at some helps in teaching children to pray:

  *Start with the basics by looking at needs that are close to the child, then help him/her pray about them.         

      *Teach children to focus on only one subject at a time.

*Teach children scripture verses that can help them when they pray.  Knowing the Scriptures can inspire our prayers and give direction.

*When children learn these scriptures, teach children to put their name in the scripture, making it personal.

      *Teach children about agreement when you pray and practice it.  See Matthew 18 vs 19.  They need to learn to agree to when they pray, and their prayers should be in alignment with God’s word. 

      *When you are teaching a child to pray and the child learns a subject area of prayer—   move on. 

      * Take time to be quiet—and listen  to the Holy Spirit—God  speaks in a still small voice—then help your child to do the same and learn to listen to God’s Holy Spirit.

      *Praying together does not require that we always sit around a table and work a well worn list, nor does it mean a scheduled time.  Structure is very helpful.  However both planned and unexpected events call for the need of prayer.

   

As you teach your child about prayer, consider that when we pray as a family about our children’s fears and woes, wants and weaknesses, we teach them that everything about them matters…and that nothing is to small or impossible for God to do. Taking their concerns seriously helps them learn to seriously follow God.  Praying together builds a spiritual heritage, and using what God has done—your spiritual heritage to encourage them.

Always take time with your children and pray with them,  Don’t forget about spontaneous moments.  They, too, can be opportunity to teach prayer. 

There is a danger of saying the words: ‘Just a minute’ or ‘I’m busy’.  Those words are  like throwing cold water on a child’s spontaneous learning.[8] 

Slowing down from your busyness, and making time with your children,  can open up windows of time to pray together.

Satan will try to stop us.  If satan can’t frustrate us any other way, he’ll keep us frantically busy …to squeeze prayer time away from the center of our lives.  The one concern of the devil is to keep us from prayer” writes Samuel Chadwick.  “He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion.  When he sees that, he laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray.”[9]

Finally, when prayer is made from the heart, and kids join with you in prayer, it helps their relationship with the Lord. A blessing will follow.

Always Remember to Affirm your children’s prayer

and remember:

Prayer is not something taught overnight.  It is taught by developing a life style of prayer.

Reflection Questions:

Children often copy what they see their parents doing.  How does our example when it comes to prayer influence them in the long run?

Why is it important to include/invite children to join us when we pray?

Can I expect my children to learn to pray if I spend on a little time with them?  Why or why not???

References:

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[1] E.M. Bounds, Prayer and Praying Men (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1991)

[2] Gloria Gaither, quoted in Draper’s Book of Quotations for the Christian World (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, 1992)

[3] Cheri Fuller, When Children Pray, Multnomah Publishers, Sisters Oregon, 1998, 54

[4] Dr Howard G. Hendricks, quoted by Reg Grant in “Learning to Teach”, Discipleship Journal, Issue 82 (1994), 35

[5] Cheri Fuller, When Children Pray, Multnomah Publishers, Sisters Oregon, 1998, 55

[6] Art Murphy, “Step by Step:  Leading Your Child to Chirst Video (Orlando, Florida)

[7] Lewis Turner, Wheatland Ministries:  http://wheatlandministries.blogspot.com/2007/01/prayer-is-act-of-love_04.html

[8] Cheri Fuller, When Children Pray, Multnomah Publishers, Sisters Oregon, 1998, 88

[9] Samuel Chadwick in ‘A Treasury of Prayer’ compiled by Leonard Ravendill (Minneapolis:Bethany House Publishers, 1961)